The smart Trick of funny sarcastic tweets That No One is Discussing

54. Justin Furano @JustinFurano I guess I like Subway given that they make me feel like I'm producing the balanced selection Once i purchase a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.

Why the identify Gary is promptly dying out ... and nine other men's names that have to have conserving from extinction

Likely just sitting down all-around moping with Unquestionably no joy inside our hearts. The lady can be a comedy mastermind who brightens our day along with her hilarity.

fourteen. Scotty @MarylandMudflap Subsequent time your obtaining hot & heavy with a woman, if she asks When you've got a condom, seem in excess of equally shoulders then whisper "A penis condom?"

From what I'm able to Acquire, motherhood is simply repeatedly receiving up just after acquiring just sat down two seconds back.

Wow, Similar to a Manager! I bet you couldn’t do that 2 times inside a row Share that prank with all your Facebook close friends and see the things they visualize those capabilities.

Platonic: the relationship that you’re imagined to have with 3 people in ur everyday living: gf’s ally, neighbors wife & your boss’s more info secretary.

It's approximated that the amount of food items stored in Instagram could feed a dozen hungry nations for a decade.

If you've in no way rage-folded a load of laundry Then you definately possibly haven't got Young children or haven't got a spouse.

Position & Perform estimate & indicating Yea You do not scare me but I listen to I scare you! The estimate Description Yea You do not scare me but I listen to I scar

See all the Easter eggs and images from Rick and Morty’s new special, check here including the 12 months the show requires spot, which universe Poopybutthole is from, and more.

lIf you plugged your nose plus your mouth while you sneezed, wouldn't it occur out of the ears or would your head explode?

"I can't wait around to determine which Republican applicant will terrify me into voting for Obama again." -Somecards

15. Provide a male a fish and he will eat for every day. Teach him ways to fish, and he will sit in a ship and consume beer all day.

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